Whether you’re a Christian or not, everyone knows that the church is a sacred place of worship. Every church has a sign close to the building that sometimes passes along a variety of messages. Most times, these messages are straightforward and holy. But some churches have decided to switch things up and be sacredly funny.
As you’d expect, most of the jokes are corny, but it’s funnier because the church is a holy place. At the very least, it shows that you can be a religious person but still be hilarious and creative. We’ve compiled some of the most hysterical church signs you’ll find. Hallelujah!
Enter Inside to Find Out More
We have no idea where the Holy Trinity Roman Catholic Church is located, but it looks like they’re experiencing a heat wave because it’s “too hot” to change their sign. Since they’re trying to avoid anything that looks and feels like hell, they’ve put up this short message.
It’s sweet, funny, and straight to the point—sin is bad, Jesus is good. If that’s not clear enough, you can find out more information inside. You know what? It sure isn’t as hot inside. Maybe we can just check with them to clarify what sin is.
Learn from Adam and Eve
If you need advice, you certainly can get it in church. But this isn’t quite the advice many people are looking for. If we’re all being honest, we’ve checked the terms and conditions box without paying attention to the fine print. We can’t blame you. It’s too long and technical anyway.
Well, what if you could get thrown out of the Garden of Eden if you breach the terms of service? Did you ever think about that? Of course, you haven’t because no one on earth has . . . except for the person who wrote this sign. However, always read the fine print!
Not the Best Service Review
We’ve seen this sign before, but we don’t know if this was its origin or if the church just borrowed it. Isn’t it hilarious that a class dedicated to teaching prophecies was cancelled due to “unforeseen circumstances”? We can see the irony in that.
We want to believe it’s a joke, though. If it isn’t, then maybe they aren’t the best people to be teaching this class. Anyone interested in learning spiritual insights should probably keep looking. At least they are honest. It’s no less than we would expect from a church.
Some Food for Thought
Not everyone is fortunate to have extensive resources at their disposal. For context, half of the world’s wealth belongs to the top 1%. Sometimes, many people who may or may not be super-rich but have a lot of resources forget to remember to treat others how they would want to be treated.
So we really love that the Canadian Memorial Centre for Peace has some reminders and words of wisdom for people. Who doesn’t love a good analogy that could get you thinking? Instead of blocking people when you’ve got resources, try to be open and share your fortunes with others.
Why Do Mosquitoes Exist?
Many people are convinced that mosquitoes are perhaps the most useless and completely pointless living organisms in our ecosystem. And if they went extinct, nothing would change. Everyone would continue to live even better. Since God created everything with a purpose, this church is wondering why these insects exist.
Well, mosquitoes being useless is false. We don’t want to bore you with some biology, but these irritating creatures are a source of biomass in the food chain. First Moravian Church must have believed the myth, but we’ll admit that this sign is quite funny.
You’ll Need It Where You’re Going
So, we all know that in Christianity and many other Abrahamic religions, hell is the destination for sinners. We love how the church staff at Clays Mill Road Baptist Church weren’t afraid to call out and scold the local thieves in public.
Apparently, some thieves couldn’t find anywhere else to steal and chose to steal from the church. Looks like the church isn’t too worried, though, because the thieves are surely going to need some air conditioners where they’re going. From what we hear, it’s not so cool there.
Don’t Make the Priest Lie
All people must die, but the fruits of your deeds here on earth will live long after you’re gone. St. John’s United Methodist Church has offered a reminder that you’ll die one day. And they also have a bit of witty advice for you—live your life well.
We really can’t deny that these words are true wisdom. You really should try your best to live your life as best as you can. But it’s not just for you; it’s so you don’t make others commit a sin by lying on your behalf at your funeral.
The Fastest Way to Meet Jesus
While many churches today sugar-coat messages in order to pull in more crowds, Pastor Floyd Ingram and his church have presented a harsh reality. We love how the church is doing its part to contribute to road safety. Since many people listen to their pastors, it could be effective.
They’re basically saying that texting while driving is dangerous, and if you want to know what the afterlife is like, then go ahead and take the risk. Now that’s some nice messaging. Maybe next time they will improve the spacing and punctuation so it’s easier to read.
What Really Matters Most
Now this is the kind of message we want to see. It’s a deep message that should be everywhere and will also bring a smile to your face. While deciding if there’s truly a higher power is up to you, we do know we’re all here on this earth together . . .
. . . and what we should be doing is being kind to each other. The Wantagh Memorial Congregational Church has chosen to remind us of that. Being a kind human is much better than being a vile Christian. People need to remember that before anything else, we’re all humans.
Just Leave It to God
We meet different types of people in our lives. Some are so good that you’re almost convinced they’re angels. Others are so terrible that you’re sure there’s some demon living inside of them. So what do you do with them?
Well, this sign says God wants you to just love them the same. You don’t need to hate them—just love them all. Basically, the message board is saying it’s up to the higher being up there to decide what to do with whoever is good or bad.
One New Friend Request
Whether a business or an organization, it’s important to know your audience if you want to be successful. And that is true even for houses of worship. While churches are open to everyone, we’ve got to give kudos to this church for finding a way to reach the younger audience.
This is a creative way to communicate and enlighten youths using quick, social media, satirical humor. Now what will you do? Will you accept or ignore this friend request? That’s entirely up to you, but all our respect to the people at this Presbyterian Church.
Reverse Psychology Works Well Too
“Forgive your enemies” is a popular doctrine in Christianity. We know many people don’t agree, but the Central Baptist Church has made a strong argument that will make you reconsider. According to them, clever reverse psychology is what makes this action even easier. We all know it’s difficult to forgive, especially if they’ve done something terrible to us.
But once you do it, it’s so freeing and a great relief. Now you can focus on something more positive. Plus, the person you’re forgiving will be thrown off that you didn’t seek revenge. So it messes with their heads.
This Is What God Expects
We’ve already seen one church using its sign to tell us how to behave, which is great. Knox Presbyterian Church is doing the same by sharing a little pun. Being a devoted believer shouldn’t make you an extremist or overly obsessive about your religion. We’re inclined to agree.
According to the church, God expects you to behave in a way that’ll make other people want to believe what you do. And these spiritual fruits are love, peace, joy, patience, generosity, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Honestly, the world desperately needs many of these characteristics in people.
We Know a Guy
Sometimes it feels good to know a guy, doesn’t it? You just know that with your guy, you can get things done much more quickly. If the rain has become unbearable, this church knows a guy. If life’s storms are too much to handle, this church knows a guy.
The story of Noah and the ark is a pretty popular one, and this church has used a nice, funny pun. We even love how they hyped it up a little bit with the “Wait for it” right before the grand reveal. A little humor doesn’t hurt, right?
Tweet and Treat Are Pretty Much the Same Things
Pastor Cathlynn Law and the United Church have a message for you. We love how this sign combines a pun and a double entendre to make a meaningful message. Honestly, tweeting and treating are quite similar words nowadays. Many tweeps are treated poorly by people’s tweets.
“Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted” works great in the sense of how you interact with people on Twitter and the Internet. It’s also a humorous play on this famous saying: “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” That’s some holy creativity right there.
A Mistake with Word Placement
This sign was so close to being a home run. But unfortunately, the sign writer made one crucial mistake and totally missed it! While trying to be funny, you sometimes get so excited that you don’t tell the joke well. We think that’s what happened here.
It would’ve made more sense if they had written “a sheep, a drum, and a snake” rather than “a sheep, a snake, and a drum.” A snake makes the “tsss” sound, not a drum. Well, we’ll give them a B for effort.
That’s What Faith Looks Like
When people discuss religion or Bible study, they usually focus on the holiness in the stories. But they forget to see the color and outrageous miracles that prove faith is key. The Crossbridge church decided to shed new light and see the story of Noah from a humorous perspective.
We’ll be honest and say we’ve never thought about the story this way. Noah must have had unspeakable faith to build a wooden ark and allow two termites to ride with him and his family. We know there were more dangerous animals, but these two alone could’ve ruined everything.
All About Dat Grace
Music is a universal language. And anyone can understand and connect with it. Since this church is trying to communicate with a diverse audience, why not use something everyone can understand? It looks like they chose to make light of Meghan Trainor’s hit, “All About That Bass.”
That’s a great choice. It’s almost impossible to read the sign without singing along to the melody in your head. If you’re looking for one of the best ways to spread the word about your church and the scriptures, then look no further than “The Meeting Place” Pinnacle Community Church.
God Speaks All Languages
Some churches today are trying to be diverse in their preaching to cater to the variety of audiences that exist. A great church and community center should be able to communicate to many audiences, especially the younger generations. After all, the church is meant for everyone, right?
So, kudos to this church for letting the teenage audience know that there’s a space for them there. And if any teenager is unsure of what this verse in Genesis says, this is an excellent way to understand it quickly. Quite frankly, this sign is lit!
The Church Knows Best
Direct, dry, straight-to-the-point, and in-your-face humor is just so satisfying and a bit funny. Considering that Christianity is one of the few religions that preach about eternal damnation in hell, we should trust churches when they describe the place, right?
The phrase “hot as hell” is quite common, and you’ll often hear it during a heat wave. Well, the church has a simple message—it’s not hot as hell! We can’t complain, really. They’re professionals. So, remember this the next time you want to use that expression.
Returning the Weather to the Underworld
Here’s another joke about the sweltering heat and its close ties to the underworld. Whenever it’s hot and you want to describe the heat, the go-to phrase is “hot as hell.” Unlike the Baptist Church we just saw, the Zion Lutheran Church agrees that the weather is, indeed, like the underworld.
According to them, Satan called and wants his hot weather back. Now we’ve got some questions. We thought the church hated that guy. Why does he have their contact information? And why does he want his hot weather back? We would think he wants to get out.
The Difference between Jesus and the Police
We’ve heard the saying that Jesus is always watching, right? So, this church wanted to remind drivers of that saying but with a little twist. The thing about eyewitnesses today is that their account of the story might be considered hearsay in a court of law.
However, once there’s hard, physical evidence such as when a police officer clock you with their radar when you’re speeding, then there isn’t much anyone can do about it. The point is that although you think only Jesus is watching, the police can send you to jail. So, follow the rules.
A Reminder to Be Perfect
There’s nothing quite like a motivational spiritual verse to think about while you’re taking a leak (or in the john). But what can we say? God is everywhere, right? So, this sign doesn’t seem inappropriate or odd after all. There’s also some good advice in this scripture.
If you aim for perfection, then you could help both yourself and the cleaning staff. Everyone is happy. We’re sure this wasn’t what St. Paul the Apostle was thinking when he wrote the book of Corinthians, but it’s a creative and hilarious way to use the verse.
The Thing about Semantics
Laws and rules have loopholes. There’s always a way around them. The whole idea of “white lies” is telling a harmless lie. But it’s still a lie, isn’t it? That’s why many people say they don’t “lie” nowadays. They just tell alternative facts.
If you’re like that, then we’re sorry to break it to you. The Canaan Baptist Church is ahead of the curve. They’re reminding us that loopholes can come at a price, and if you love semantics, the Bible is also up for interpretation on both sides.
The Best Way to Heal Insomnia
We usually feel guilty when we think about this. But oh well, the church has said it themselves. It didn’t come out of our mouths. Sometimes you go to church and listen to a truly inspirational sermon. Other times, not so much. They can be so boring.
And before you know it, you’re snoozing the morning away. This Baptist Church is quite honest about its sermons. According to the church, they can help you solve your sleeping problems. So if it’s been a while since you went to church, maybe they’ve got a solution to your insomnia.
Even Darth Vader Wants You to Have Faith
Star Wars fans gather here! Who remembers the scene where Darth Vader casually says, “I find your lack of faith disturbing” before using the Force to strangle someone who was belittling and yapping off the ways of the Jedi? This church has made an incredible reference to the scene.
They appear to feel the same about their faith, just like Vader does for the old Jedi ways. We just hope no one is planning to strangle anyone over their faith. We don’t need that. But it’s still a funny and relatable sign regardless.
A Sinful Play on Words
We absolutely love a good play on words. This one is a sinful one, but the church has passed along a wonderful message in a creative and funny way. Who knows? We just might laugh so hard until reality hits, and then we walk into the church to ask for forgiveness.
Sin might only be a three-letter word, but the price you pay when you commit one could be a long sentence. Depending on your faith, your punishment could even be for eternity. So, before you commit a sin, it’ll be nice to keep this church’s sign in mind.
Speak Less, and Listen More
We think what this sign is saying is that people should listen more than they speak. If you don’t have something meaningful or nice to contribute to a conversation, maybe it’s best not to say anything at all. It’s better to keep quiet and be thought a fool . . .
. . . than open your mouth and remove all doubt. It’s always important to listen, not only for the other person’s sake but so you might learn something new and gain a new perspective. And that’s why this church thinks God gave us one mouth that closes and two ears that don’t.
Don’t Make Him Come Down
Christianity and a few other religions believe that the world will end one day. Christians believe Jesus will come down on the last day to judge the world. This church has made light of the event. It’s a cheeky and hilarious way to remind people that there’s an end.
We really want to give the Church of the Valley and the clergy a round of applause for this creativity. The message to behave well, be good humans, and obey God is well received. The guys at the church passed on this message properly.
Only One Being Has All the Answers
We’re sure everyone can agree that the Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all time. Everything is now at the tip of our fingertips. We could find answers to even the most minute problems by just clicking away. And in a few seconds . . . voila!
But alas, the people at Hillcrest Baptist Church don’t agree. According to them, there are some questions that even Google can’t answer. It seems like they might know someone who has the answers to all those questions. So, let’s go in and find out who that person is.
Management Doesn’t Change Here
If you’ve been in the corporate world, then a shift in management from time to time is something you’re familiar with. Management is one of the essential parts of running a successful business, so the best people must be at the helm.
But contrary to how it’s done in the corporate world, the Full Gospel Church has been run by one “Big Guy” for 2,000 years! And it looks like they’re quite happy with the management skills. This is a hysterical sign that gets the message across quite well.
No Church without U
This church has a cute way of inviting people to the place of worship. They have a riddle on their sign that is quite easy to decipher. What is missing from “CH__RCH?” Easy. Of course, it’s the letters U and R.
But the riddle goes beyond just a normal fill-in-the-blank quiz. It has a deeper and more endearing meaning. While the missing letters are U and R, they also mean that “you are” missing from the church. Aww! Now we feel like going into the church to see what’s up.
Come as You Are
Finding the motivation to start is one of the most difficult aspects of any task. However, it’s okay if you feel this way, whether it’s because you think you won’t be good enough or just because you’re afraid to try anything new. We’ve all experienced that before.
The people at the Church of Christ understand that this happens, and they’re willing to open their doors to you. They’re reminding you that there’ll always be room for improvement and growth. Sometimes, the only way to go is up. We love this message.
Good Guy or Bad Guy
Those who are big Harry Potter fans will know that there’s a heated debate in the community on whether Severus Snape is the good guy or the bad guy in the fantasy story. He’s such a controversial character that fans are unsure how to feel about him.
Just like the debate about figures in the spiritual world is up to anyone’s perspective and interpretation, the same can be said about Severus Snape. Well, it looks like First Baptist Church has taken a side. His character taught us to first work on being good before becoming great.
Showing Support for the Canucks
Every believer knows that Jesus and the Big Guy love everyone dearly. It doesn’t matter your age, gender, race, or nationality. God doesn’t show favoritism. And the sign guy made sure he wrote a disclaimer that although God is impartial, he’ll still show support for his favorite team.
While the guy probably doesn’t have problems sharing the Word of God, he also felt it important to share with the world his favorite NHL team—the Vancouver Canucks. If you’re reading this and you’re also a fan, then you know where to go to find friends.
Sunday Puns from the Queen
We all love a good pun. This play on words starts with the name of the church—Our Lady Queen of Families. There’s a Queen there, so they wanted to clarify that this queen is different from Dairy Queen. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have great Sundays too!
Of course, they don’t serve sundaes like our beloved Dairy Queen (that would be cool, though), but they’re confident that they can offer something similar. That would be the Sunday sermons for members to enjoy on the weekends. We also hear they serve the bread of life.
Straight to the Point
We’ve seen lots of creative and funny signs that show how churches put a lot of thought into them. But honestly, just like everyone knows it’s good to wear seatbelts while in the car, sometimes there’s no need to explain why you should do what’s good for you.
As you can see, even the First Congregational Church agrees that it’s important to just cut to the chase when telling people what’s good for them—going to church, for example. If they’re this straightforward, we can assume that their sermons will be short and to the point too. On our way!
Food Is the Fastest Way to a Man’s Heart
We’ve all heard the saying that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well, not just for a man—women love food too! This church knows this is true and chose to use a good pun. The church wants your heart to be committed to God.
So, they used a pun that makes it easier to come to church and remind you of all the delicious food you love. But we do feel like since they wanted a play on words, they could’ve gone for “ketchup” instead of “catch up.” Oh well, I guess we all make misteaks.
Open to All People
Once again, we love how churches are open to everyone. The culture of inclusion without judgment or discrimination is something we’re all here for. And that’s why we also love the Rutherford Congregational Church’s direct and in-your-face approach while still being welcoming and wholesome at the same time.
They start by greeting you with some tough love with a blend of biblical humor. Then right below that message, they send one that’s even more beautiful and heart-warming. They claim that their church is open to everyone, no matter who or where they are. Now that’s a sign!
Who Loves Kanye More Than Kanye?
This church sign is making a bold claim and statement. We all know if there’s anyone in the whole world and in the universe (we’ve gotta account for our alien friends too) who loves Kanye West the most, it must be the legendary Kanye himself.
But this church is saying no. There’s someone who loves Kanye more. God’s love goes above and beyond human comprehension. It seems the Big Guy up there loves every one of us, even more than Kanye’s self-love. That means God loves Kanye more than Kanye. Does Kanye agree, though?
A Reminder to Be Hygienic
Although churches are more about the religious side of things, commenting on social issues occasionally isn’t bad. We have no idea if this sign was put up during the pandemic or before 2020. Either way, it’s spot on and even relevant now more than ever.
And Eagle Ridge United Church chose an excellent way to pass the message along. We love the play on words as they combined “hygiene” and “Genesis” to sound like a book in the Bible. As they say, cleanliness is next to godliness, and this church has provided a good reminder.
Noah Could Have Made It Happen
The story of Noah and the ark is a fascinating one. Apparently, he saved the world’s animals from going to extinction thousands of years ago. But when you think about it, would it have changed anything to just swat those two mosquitoes that he saved?
Could you imagine anything more annoying than relaxing at home just minding your business, and suddenly, this insect starts buzzing out of nowhere? Worse still, it’s coming for your blood! Ugh! Maybe Noah could’ve just done the world a favor and saved us the stress!
Thou Shalt Be Towed
The Bible has countless laws, especially when you read the Old Testament. You’d be shocked at how many laws you break daily if we were still in that era. While we’re pretty sure there’s no law about parking without authorization, we love how this church stuck to the biblical theme.
According to the United Methodist Church, you are not to park there without authorization. Lo, if thou goest against this doctrine, thou shalt be towed. Well, at least they’ve given us a heads up, so we don’t get slapped with punishment out of the blue for our sins.
Maybe You Should Pray Too
Timing is everything in comedy. You just need to know when to pause, when to say something, and what the context is. Like comedy, spacing is everything when you’re trying to be funny on a message board. And that is what the Wesley United Church has done sneakily.
The sign is so funny because when you first read it, you could assume that they’re trying to say they’re praying for you and listening to you. At least, isn’t that what the church is about? But once you continue reading, you’ll see they’re praying and listening to scientists! Haha.
God Is Taking Your Prayer Seriously
Many people pray for cold days when there’s a heat wave. You know how some people do a rain dance, so the rain comes during a drought? Or do you remember when you and your friends did little dances, hoping it would snow the next day?
Well, it looks like anyone who’s been doing that has been so successful that the people at Knox Presbyterian Church are begging them to stop. It looks like they have noticed that God is taking those prayers too seriously. If that’s you, please stop. And oh, Sunday service is at 11:00.
In the Heat of the Moment
When the weather is so hot and you’re outside, there’s only one thing on your mind—get home to some cooling AC. But that’s only if you have air conditioning in your home! Some people don’t, and they’ll just resort to their fan. But hey, it’s something, right?
Well, if you’re really craving a different kind of cool like the one an air conditioner gives, this church has an idea. If you go to church and listen to a sermon, you won’t have to worry about the sweltering heat. What’s more, the AC is free of charge!
Be a Good Human
While we understand what this sign is saying, it’s interesting because not every animal or pet looks at humans the same way. You must have heard of the famous saying that dogs see their owners as gods, while cats see themselves as gods. But that’s a whole new conversation.
The point is this: not all pets see their owners the same way. We’ve heard of vile owners mistreating their pets, which is terrible. There’s also a twist. What if we don’t have a pet? So what type of human are we expected to be like then?
A Sneaky Reminder That Nobody Is Perfect
We’ve heard many jokes about the Titanic over the years, but you’ve got to admit this one is the best one yet. The Holy Family Parish makes a good point. While trying to motivate people to take risks, they couldn’t resist a slight dig at the builders of the Titanic.
Noah and his family knew next to nothing about carpentry and still built a boat that survived the worst flood in history. A team of professionals built the Titanic. And you know how that ended. So why are you scared of trying new things? Take a leap of faith!